The Couch Lock Classic Rating System

How high do I need to be to enjoy this?

Introducing a rating system based on You.
Even a masterpiece can be miserable if you're not in the right frame of mind.

Browse the list.

Leave a rating.

The Scale:

AAAAA (Kung Fury)
“I was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra. I blacked out.”

AAAA (Quad)
Higher than a bat’s ass.

AAA (Trip)
Bombed.

AA (Dub)
Buzzed

A (Spice 99)
Viewing while altered could cause long term psychological effects.

Space Trucker Bruce (2014)

Space Trucker Bruce (2014)

Bruce is a trucker who works the hog fat lines between Earth and the Titan Station. He’s content with his life but a bit lonely. A month away from the Titan Station Bruce picks up Max, an easily bored automation engineer with a broken shuttle. As Max is about to go crazy from space boredom they receive a strange distress call. Bruce’s long range receiver is broken so the signal is close by. Soon they discover a huge dark object on a collision course. Bruce and Max must risk everything to survive their deadly encounter and deliver the hog fat.

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Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

In a universe where human genetic material is the most precious commodity, an impoverished young Earth woman becomes the key to strategic maneuvers and internal strife within a powerful dynasty…

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Gallowwalkers (2012)

Gallowwalkers (2012)

When a nun broke her covenant with God to save the life of her unborn son, Aman, he was cursed for life. As an adult, Aman has killed those who have crossed him. But his curse brings his victims back to life and they pursue him for revenge, so Aman enlists a young gunman to fight by his side against his undead victims.

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No One Lives (2013)

No One Lives (2013)

AAAAA (Kung Fury)"I was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra. I blacked out." AAAA (Quad)Higher than a bat's ass. AAA (Trip)Bombed. AA (Dub)Buzzed A (Spice 99)Viewing while altered could cause long term psychological effects.

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Run Lola Run (1998)

Run Lola Run (1998)

Lola receives a phone call from her boyfriend Manni. He lost 100,000 DM in a subway train that belongs to a very bad guy. She has 20 minutes to raise this amount and meet Manni. Otherwise, he will rob a store to get the money. Three different alternatives may happen depending on some minor event along Lola’s run.

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Howl (2015)

Howl (2015)

When passengers on a train are attacked by a creature, they must band together in order to survive until morning.

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Prophecy (1979)

Prophecy (1979)

When a dispute occurs between a logging operation and a nearby Native American tribe, Dr. Robert Verne and his wife, Maggie, are sent in to mediate. Chief John Hawks insists the loggers are poisoning the water supply, and, though company man Isley denies it, the Vernes can’t ignore the strangely mutated wildlife roaming the woods. Robert captures a bear cub for testing and soon finds himself the target of an angry mutant grizzly.

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The Ramen Girl (2008)

The Ramen Girl (2008)

An American woman is stranded in Tokyo after breaking up with her boyfriend. Searching for direction in life, she trains to be a râmen chef under a tyrannical Japanese master.

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R.I.P.D. (2013)

R.I.P.D. (2013)

A recently slain cop joins a team of undead police officers working for the Rest in Peace Department and tries to find the man who murdered him.

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Them! (1954)

Them! (1954)

As a result of nuclear testing, gigantic, ferocious mutant ants appear in the American desert southwest, and a father-daughter team of entomologists join forces with the state police officer who first discovers their existence, an FBI agent and, eventually, the US Army to eradicate the menace, before it spreads across the continent, and the world.

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Nefarious (2023)

Nefarious (2023)

On the day of his scheduled execution, a convicted serial killer gets a psychiatric evaluation during which he claims he is a demon, and further claims that before their time is over, the psychiatrist will commit three murders of his own.

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Children of the Corn (2020)

Children of the Corn (2020)

A psychopathic twelve-year-old girl in a small town in Nebraska recruits all the other children and goes on a bloody rampage, killing the corrupt adults and anyone else who opposes her. A bright high schooler who won’t go along with the plan is the town’s only hope of survival.

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Demolition Man (1993)

Demolition Man (1993)

Simon Phoenix, a violent criminal cryogenically frozen in 1996, escapes during a parole hearing in 2032 in the utopia of San Angeles. Police are incapable of dealing with his violent ways and turn to his captor, who had also been cryogenically frozen after being wrongfully accused of killing 30 innocent people while apprehending Phoenix.

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